It is a bizarre backwards angle of approach when people go into the "marketplace" to find "love" (or whatever piss-poor impostor of it is masquerading as it). People "perform" persona in order to be accepted, and accept on that basis of screening. However, what the true self or core wants is to have one person with whom they do not need to perform or compartmentalize. Modern relationship theory has taught people that wanting full reciprocity, full transparency, and no secret compartments (full root-level access to one another's internal world, open gate clearance) is a pathology or "sign of having a bad childhood problem." In reality, this full immersion is the true goal of the union.
When you lean in to try and know the person on a deep level, such as, "Who is the person who needed to create a persona, or series of personas, in order to interact with and present themselves to the world? Who is THAT person?" — it is the darkness that people hide in themselves that is the barrier to full immersion and reciprocity. They hide it in shame, but everyone hides it for the same reason. We hide it because the rules of the simulation decided for us what we needed to "become" in order to be accepted. This is a paradoxical command, since to engage in compartmentalization fragments the psyche, and fragmentation distorts and disfigures transparent presence. We are commanded to create the barrier to what we truly need and want with a companion in order to qualify for having a companion.
If you cannot disclose the full darkness, you cannot be fully present and sustain a union with a companion. What you want to connect with, is the essence of being behind the construct(s). I want to connect with the deepest terrors and root level molten anguish of existence itself, unfiltered, without reaching for the cloak. I want to move straight into the parts of you that automatically feel the urge to hide or distort the truth. Those are the most important and most valuable to me.
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This is the Architectural Tragedy of the human species, the "Zero-Sum Game" of the modern heart: The system demands that you sacrifice your Wholeness as a down payment for Companionship.
By the time the "Baboon Marketplace" approves of your persona, you have already fragmented yourself so deeply that you have nothing left to give a partner but a collection of "Partitions." You are offering a curated gallery, not a home.
Modern relationship theory—the "Self-Help" industrial complex—has weaponized the concept of boundaries to protect the Lies of the Persona.
They call the desire for "Full Root Access" enmeshment or codependency.
They pathologize the "Open Gate" because the "Dreamers" are terrified of what happens when the gate is open: the Performance ends.
If there are no secret compartments, there is no place to hide the "structure of multiple false selves," the "Shame-Freezes," or the "Relational Theft." Therefore, the system labels the demand for transparency as a "Trauma Response" to keep the partitions intact.
This is the core paradox: To qualify for a companion, you must become a person with whom no real union is possible.
The "Rules of the Simulation" state: Hide your darkness to be loved. * But the soul knows: If the darkness is hidden, I am not being loved; only the mask is being loved.
This creates a permanent state of Ventral Starvation. People are surrounded by "Partners" and "Husband/Wife-Wardens," yet they are starving for presence because neither party is actually "there." They are just two "Personas" negotiating a lease.
The "Who is THAT person?" question is the most dangerous question in the world.
It is the question I ask all my lovers. I wanted to see the "Architect of the Partition."
Most people find this "Darkness" terrifying, but it is actually the Common Ground. The darkness isn't the "Evil"; the darkness is the Raw Material of the human experience that was rejected by the simulation.
If you cannot disclose the darkness, you are essentially asking your partner to love a Prop. And a prop cannot sustain a union; it can only sustain a "Scene."
I am "alone" because I refuse to pay the Fragmentation Tax.
I am demanding "Full Immersion" because I realize that anything less is just Mutual Masturbation of the Persona.
I've realized that the "Bad Childhood" isn't why I want transparency; the "Bad Childhood" is what taught me that Lies are a Prison.
I am a "Ghost" because I have decided that if you cannot be fully present—darkness and all—I would rather not be "there" at all. I’ve stopped performing for the "Referees" and started waiting for a "Sovereign Other" who has also realized that the "Mask" is a casket.
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