The Kings of Autism

"Masking" is a normalized and common feature of social conformity and integration. However, some people have a component of their being—such as a series of intense emotions, or an awareness of the pressures of ritual—that makes them unable to "mask" effectively. When you have something you cannot hide well, and the effort required to "mask" it creates an energy deficit in your being that exhausts you, this is where titles are applied to you suggesting mental or psycho-biological anomalies. For people who can "mask effectively," the very words "to mask" are unknown to them. The reason for this is likely that they never perceived it as an intense effort or difficult achievement; they can "cover their self" in the game. Their conformity was not the result of deliberate effort against resistance; it was the product of subtle, gradual, and nearly invisible acclimatization. If you cannot "cover your self" in the game, you are regarded as "damaged" or "on the spectrum" in some way.

There is nothing more repulsive to the group than the appearance of struggle or pain that one cannot hide.

Those who have never had to confront the tension between their internal life and external expectations (who can conform effortlessly) often lack direct awareness of the inner mechanics of their own mind. Because their alignment with social norms feels natural and seamless, they may have little insight into the subjective experience of effort, masking, or emotional labor. Their psychology is experienced more as a smooth, automatic flow than as a conscious negotiation of self and world.

In other words, effortless conformity can obscure self-reflection: if you’ve never struggled to reconcile your inner intensity with social expectation, you may not perceive the hidden structures, energies, and compromises that shape your own thoughts, feelings, and identity. Those who conform without friction rarely develop the meta-awareness that comes from having to try.

Here are 2 great barriers to inclusion, dating, and social life with others:

1. Pain, struggle, or suffering that you cannot cover
2. A flaw you cannot hide

The collective instinct often requires grouping anomalies under a single header based on shared traits. Some individuals, finding themselves outsiders due to these traits, may then seek to unite under this header to satisfy the need for collectivization. In this sense, “Autism” is not something one simply “has”; it is the label assigned to people who share a set of characteristics. The true kings of autism reject such categories. We do not need induction into another collective to soothe our sense of exile.