Long ago, in the shadowed lands of desire and questionable anatomy, there lived a man — he who was him. He was a man of singular purpose: he wanted more cum. Not just enough to satisfy a mortal, not merely enough to survive — he wanted abundance, torrents, rivers of his own making. And the universe, cruel in its arithmetic, had only given him two measly balls.
He climbed the mountain of orgasmic aspiration and petitioned the divine: Cockules the Great, keeper of the sacred gonads, ruler of the ejaculatory cosmos.
“Great Cockules,” he cried, “I am shackled by mere mortal biology. My balls produce, at best, a humble dribble, a whisper of potency. I need more. I demand a cascade that floods like a geyser, like piss turned into legend.”
Cockules the Great, mighty and amused, stroked his celestial beard. “And how, O seeker of virility, would you have this miracle manifest?”
He who was him raised his arms and conjured the vision: “Behold! Picture a bunch of grapes, but imagine that each grape is a ball — my balls! Let them hang like clustered fruit, the scrotal sack enlarged yet still translucent enough to show each orb. Let it be visible, glorious, and terrifying in its fullness. Make it so, Cockules!”
The god laughed, a sound like the clatter of golden testicles in the halls of heaven. “It shall be done.”
And so it was. From that day forth, he who was him carried the sacred gift of the grape-cluster scrotum. Wherever he went, waterfalls of ejaculate followed him, outrageous in both volume and velocity. Those brave enough to partake in fellatio required strength beyond Olympian heroes, endurance that would make titans weep. Mere mortals would look upon the torrent and know awe, terror, and possibly nausea.
Thus, he who was him became a legend. Not for wisdom, not for bravery, not even for cunning — but for the divine absurdity of his balls, hanging like a cluster of grapes, delivering epic ejaculations the likes of which the world had never seen.
And so, in the annals of obscene heroics, he who was him remained eternal.