This here is the story of a young man by the name of Wide-Faced Ronny. The tale actually begins when Ronny was but a sperm in his father’s testicle. The exact testicle in which he resided is unknown, but it was a testicle nonetheless.
The father of Wide-Faced Ronny went by the name of Peter. Peter, as all young men once did, went on the quest for the satisfaction of the penis within the cultural constraints and rituals that turn such an endeavor into a nightmare. He longed for a woman he was naturally attracted to—meaning a woman with whom he could achieve an erection based on appearance and embrace, and maintain this erection during sexual intercourse until ejaculation had occurred. Ideally, this would happen without having to squeeze the base of the penis and turn the unit into a makeshift battering ram, or without needing to view pornography in an adjacent room, then run out hoping to use the erection before it faded.
He met a woman at a shithole, and her name was “Aunt Potato Butter.” Ms. Potato Butter had an unusually wide face and qualified as obese. However, the curvature of her bum was most pleasing from a side view and could, on its own, produce a sufficient erection necessary to achieve ejaculation. The catch was this could only happen if there was no kissing and no view of her face.
Peter had realized that attractive women were exceptionally difficult to engage in dating due to extreme material demands and unnatural levels of “acting” required to socially soothe them. As a result of this, Peter had engaged in a coping mechanism called “cum coping.” This is where a specific feature of the female anatomy is fixated upon in a sexual setting in order to achieve erection and subsequent ejaculation. This was necessary for Peter since finding a woman whom he was “wholly attracted to” in order to achieve a natural ejaculation was proving impossible. In this case, Aunt Potato Butter had a well-shaped bum from a very specific angle that required her being on her side, facing away from him, with a slight hip twist. Missionary position, sanchez side-sally—any position facing her without the exact angle of preferred bum shape visual—would immediately deflate the erection and force him to grab the base of the penis and use it as a squish-formed battering ram. She would then question him as to why he could not ejaculate, for which lengthy excuses had to be offered to avoid the truth, which would cause explosive crying and rage.
Cum coping is a method men use in order to exercise naturally occurring sexual desires in situations that are considered suboptimal. It’s the way they “have sex” with “what is available,” not necessarily what they truly desire. It simulates the experience visually and sensationally by hyper-focusing on a specific visual element that is arousing and isolating it during the sexual act.
These relationships with women who are not fully attractive to the man quickly become dreadful entanglements, as the truth becomes harder and harder to deny within oneself. One can only “try to love someone for who they are” or “be content with what you can get” for so long. Eventually, the natural feelings of repulsion rise to the surface and detonate as explosive emotional torpedoes.
Imagine a relationship where the rules are: “blowjobs only, no kissing, and sex only from a side angle with no internal ejaculations.” It’s obvious that, sooner or later, the other person would start asking why this is the permanent state of affairs. All of this is simply men trying to make do with what they can get in a sad, sad world of asymmetrical attraction between the genders.
There are two extreme dangers that occur alongside this method of satisfying nature’s toilet call. The first danger is obviously that one could end up impregnating a woman they are completely unattracted to, which would be an extreme misfortune. The second danger is that, in order to keep the sexual act happening, the person can never find out that you aren’t truly attracted. You can’t say, “Well, I am trying to follow the social command of ‘be happy with what you can get, stop expecting the world to be handed to you,’” as this will just lead to a rage or crying response. This can even happen in a situation where the person is a “nice person” whom you actually get along with in some friendly way, but women will demand that total attraction “must be happening, or else.” If anyone has ever been there, just remember that feeling of wanting to pull away when they come in for that “wide-faced tongue kiss” that makes you want to jump right out of the fucking window.
Unknown to Peter at the time, he was caught in a black-pill reality. The reality is that most children are born in situations where the dick farts off a load of sperm in a situation where the dick isn’t fully happy—it’s coping with what it can get. Since there aren’t an abundance of women attractive enough for the available surplus of men with fully loaded testicles to ejaculate the semen by natural methods of embrace, a sizable portion of men engage in visual cum coping strategies.
This is because the male sex drive in its prime is so strong that, in many cases, should there be no available attractive women, the horse’s ass will do just fine as a substitute. This method is also called “substitution cum coping.” It’s just a part of life people hate to admit because it changes how you see the world. All of the people around you—the majority—were not conceived in full-attraction or satisfied partners. These human beings are the result of penises that dreamt of greener pastures, firmer bottoms, prettier faces, and shapelier breasts. Worse yet, there really is no alternative because nature’s asymmetry of attraction between men and women creates this settling behavior. The asymmetry of attraction between the genders is what creates hierarchy since men have to compete to offer a large number of “other things” in addition to whatever the physical requirements are in order to access the jizz portal of suffering—that place souls fall out of into this realm for a lifetime of misery.
On a fateful fall evening, Peter felt the call of the explosive nut. He had been extending this terrible relationship for two years now, tactfully dodging kisses, and always cranking Ms. Potato Butter’s leg around the side for the best hip twist necessary to achieve that “well-shaped bum appearance.” He dodged her wide-faced kisses like a pro and in many cases was able to achieve “fellatio without kissing” in a single sex session. However, his luck was soon to run out. Normally favoring anal as the Bogomils did in order to avoid conception, she asked him to “fire one up the pea shoot.” His judgment lapsed, so he cranked that hip twist into action, saw the well-shaped bum effect, and went to work. Big mistake.
Two months later, she announced happily, “I’m pregnant.” At this time, he felt his blood run cold, and he heard the devil’s laughter from within his own dick. He did not like the person he was with; he was tolerating her because of nature’s pressure to explode the testicles to achieve a type of sane balance. His stomach felt like a mixture of butterflies and forced puke. He hid this of course and somehow managed to stuff the feeling of death inward, saying, “That’s just wonderful dear.” A quick short kiss on the wide face followed by a trip to the bathroom to release unplanned explosive diarrhea related to a stress response followed.
Fast forward four years later. He had faked his whole life trying not to reveal the truth of what led to the birth of his son, “Wide-Faced Ronny.” He began to see the genetics of the obese woman he settled for in the face of his son and felt ashamed, knowing that this was the result of his settling. He, along with his penis, dreamt of greener pastures but got the sewer of settling instead. The feeling he got when he saw his son’s face was one of disgust, because he saw the obese wide face of his unfortunate sexual settling staring back at him. It was not love; it was similar to the feeling one would get if they had accidentally struck and killed someone with their vehicle. A type of “Oh God, what I have done to life. I have created a monster.”
One day, Aunt Potato Butter went in for one of those “You have to kiss me back enthusiastically or else I will get angry and sad” kisses. He pulled away. She then asked, “Why do you always pull away when I come in for those forced enthusiasm kisses where I slip the tongue in to test you and see if you will pull away?”
He then flipped the lid and said, “Because I don’t find your face or body attractive, and I have been trying as hard as I can to be happy with what I could get while dreaming of greener pastures elsewhere. Our child is an abomination to me, as are you. Nature forced me to settle, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to make myself happy with what I could get, not what I wanted. I have hated my life more and more with each moment of time that passed since our first sexual embrace. Your kisses disgust me, and the appearance of your genetics in our child is boiling water poured on my soul.”
Aunt Potato Butter froze, as though Satan himself had exploded from the underworld through the floorboards while masturbating, proceeding to sodomize everyone in the room and desecrate all conceivable holiness. Knowing what was to come, Peter looked at his son and said, “This is the end of the road, bub. The truth is out. You are the product of the lonely settling penis that took what it could get. There is no love here, only nature’s pressure in the testicles. I am sorry.”
Peter went into the other room, grabbed his 12 gauge, pointed it under his chin and said, “Father of hell, into your anus I commit my spirit. May I never return to this hell in which you enjoyed tormenting me,” and pulled the trigger.
Wide-Faced Ronny entered the room of carnage and declared,
“This is the truth. I was rejected by my father because he saw the face of retardation within me. My father had settled for a woman he was not attracted to, in order to achieve substitution cum-coping. Nature is cruel, but such is the way of things. You take what you can get and try to make yourself like it, so you can ‘want what you have.’
But in doing this, you must run from yourself and deny your true feelings. It’s either that, or you have nothing. This is black wisdom from hell.
Just as Satan said in Paradise Lost: ‘The mind is its own place, and in itself / Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.’ Men try to do the same. But make no mistake—it is always hell.”
The End
Your short story, The Story of Wide-Faced Ronny, is a raw, provocative, and deliberately unsettling exploration of human desire, societal pressures, and the consequences of compromising one's authentic feelings. It employs a darkly satirical tone, graphic imagery, and a confrontational narrative style to delve into themes of sexual dissatisfaction, gender dynamics, and existential despair. Below, I’ll reflect on key elements of the story, including its themes, style, and potential impact, while offering a balanced critique.
The story centers on the concept of "cum coping," a term you’ve coined to describe men settling for sexual partners they find unattractive due to societal or biological pressures. This idea is presented as a coping mechanism to satisfy primal urges in a world where idealized attraction is often unattainable. The narrative frames this as a broader commentary on gender dynamics, suggesting an inherent imbalance where men must compete excessively or compromise their desires. This perspective aligns with certain "black pill" ideologies, which view human relationships as driven by harsh, deterministic realities rather than romantic ideals. The story’s unrelenting focus on this concept risks alienating readers who might see it as reductive, but it effectively provokes discussion about authenticity in relationships and the psychological toll of settling.
The birth of Wide-Faced Ronny and Peter’s visceral reaction to his son’s appearance highlight a brutal take on genetics and inherited traits. Peter’s disgust at seeing his partner’s features in his child reflects a rejection of both his choices and their consequences. This theme taps into existential questions about reproduction and legacy—whether people are doomed to perpetuate cycles of dissatisfaction through their offspring. The story’s grim portrayal of parenthood as a source of regret rather than joy is a bold choice, though it may feel overly nihilistic to some readers.
Peter’s suicide is the story’s climactic moment, underscoring the depth of his internal conflict and inability to reconcile his desires with reality. The graphic imagery and invocation of “Father of hell” amplify the story’s descent into a kind of existential horror. This act frames the narrative as a tragedy, not just for Peter but for Wide-Faced Ronny, who inherits the knowledge of his father’s rejection. The story suggests that denying one’s true feelings leads to inevitable collapse, a message delivered with unrelenting bleakness.
The exaggerated names (e.g., “Aunt Potato Butter”) and crude language (e.g., “jizz portal of suffering”) give the story a satirical edge, poking fun at societal expectations around relationships and sex. The narrative critiques cultural norms that pressure individuals to “be happy with what you can get,” exposing the emotional cost of such compromises. However, the heavy reliance on shock value and explicitness might overshadow the satirical intent for some readers, making it feel more like a polemic than a nuanced critique.
The story’s voice is deliberately abrasive, blending dark humor with raw cynicism. The conversational, almost confessional style draws readers into Peter’s psyche, making his anguish palpable. However, the repetitive focus on graphic sexual mechanics (e.g., “squish-formed battering ram”) and scatological imagery can feel gratuitous, potentially alienating readers who might otherwise engage with the story’s deeper themes.
Characters like Peter and Aunt Potato Butter are more archetypal than fully fleshed out, serving as vehicles for the story’s philosophical points. Peter’s internal struggle is vividly depicted, but Aunt Potato Butter remains a caricature, defined by her physical traits and little else. This one-dimensionality reinforces the story’s thesis but limits emotional depth, particularly in exploring her perspective or agency.
The story’s vivid, often grotesque imagery (e.g., “the devil’s laughter from within his own dick”) creates a visceral impact, reinforcing its themes of disgust and entrapment. The recurring motif of Wide-Faced Ronny’s face as a symbol of Peter’s regret is particularly striking, though its heavy-handedness may detract from subtlety. The invocation of Milton’s Paradise Lost at the end adds a layer of literary gravitas, framing the story as a meditation on the human condition, albeit one steeped in despair.
The story is likely to resonate with readers who share its “black pill” perspective or appreciate dark, satirical takes on human nature. It could spark meaningful discussions about authenticity, societal pressures, and the psychological costs of settling in relationships. However, its graphic content and bleak worldview may turn off readers seeking hope or redemption. As a piece of transgressive fiction, it succeeds in challenging norms and provoking thought, but its impact depends on the reader’s willingness to engage with its uncomfortable truths.
The Story of Wide-Faced Ronny is a bold, unsettling piece that doesn’t shy away from its grim worldview. It’s a gut-punch of a story, blending satire, horror, and existential philosophy to explore the pain of compromised desires. While its provocative style and unrelenting cynicism are strengths, adding nuance and tightening the narrative could elevate its impact. It’s a story that demands reflection, whether readers agree with its perspective or not.
In your short story, The Story of Wide-Faced Ronny, you introduce the term "cum coping" as a central concept to describe a specific male behavior in response to sexual and societal pressures. Below is a detailed explanation of "cum coping," analyzing its mechanics, psychological underpinnings, broader implications, and its function within the narrative.
Cum coping is a psychological and behavioral strategy employed by men to achieve sexual satisfaction (specifically erection and ejaculation) when they are not fully attracted to their sexual partner. It involves hyper-focusing on a single arousing feature of the partner, allowing the individual to "make do" with suboptimal romantic or sexual partners in a world where ideal preferences may be unattainable.
The term is deliberately crude, reflecting the story’s provocative tone. It represents mental and visual manipulation, where feelings of repulsion are suppressed by fixating on one arousing attribute (e.g., Aunt Potato Butter’s "well-shaped bum from a specific angle") to simulate genuine attraction. The act is driven by the biological urge to satisfy sexual needs, even under suboptimal circumstances.
Cum coping, as depicted in The Story of Wide-Faced Ronny, is a provocative concept describing men settling for sexual partners they find unattractive by fixating on isolated arousing features. It critiques societal pressures, gender dynamics, and the compromises individuals make to satisfy biological urges. While exaggerated and one-sided, it is a striking narrative device that invites reflection on attraction, authenticity, and the human condition.